I haven’t posted on here recently, mainly because I haven’t really had the time to write, but tonight I feel like it. I have a few pieces rolling around in my head and really need to make myself sit down and just spend a day writing them. For tonight, it’s going to be “Internet dating…..An interesting way to make new friends, but not find a boyfriend.”
I don’t normally write much about Internet dating….in the sense that I’ve told any of my more amusing stories in this spot. I never want anyone I go out with to possibly look at this and feel I’ve used them for writing fodder. So, this piece of writing is unusual in the sense that I am going to write about this subject.
Last night I met and had dinner with this amazing man. It’s always really nice when you meet someone that you immediately feel drawn toward, like you were meant to know this person. They are supposed to become a part of your life. This particular man is unfortunately for me, not going to become a romantic part of my life. I also have a knack for finding the interesting ones that already belong to someone else. Since I’ve learned that particular lesson well, I am not even remotely interested in going down that road. However, that does not mean friendship is out of the question. He claims that his record of being friends with women is “spotty at best.” I’m not exactly sure that that means and perhaps I should ask, but I’ve decided not too.
“D” and I had dinner in the village last night. The man and the place are a perfect fit for each other. He loves cats and has five of them. He’s a voracious reader, a song writer and a retired thug….what an interesting combination and one that I find so completely fascinating….and it doesn’t hurt that he’s quite attractive too.
Tonight I had dinner with a man who drove in from Long Island, only I should probably have saved him the time and effort by backing out. I already knew that we didn’t have a lot in common, yet I continue to go on these dates *just in case my intuition is wrong.* However, so far my intuition has not been wrong once.
I just barely avoided certain disaster last week when I canceled a date with someone who I felt as if I were being smothered by, and we hadn’t even met yet! When he sent me an email telling me that I had been “mean to him,” when I told him in a conversation that I couldn’t talk to him right at that moment because I was cleaning up the kitchen, I knew it was time to cancel that pending date. (And, he was serious when he said I was mean to him…I still can’t believe it.) An hour after I got that email and responded by saying I was going to decline the date we had planned for the following night, the buzzer in my apartment went off. I had to freak out just a little bit, thinking “OMG……he’s a stalker.” I’m very relieved to live in a big apartment building and not to find myself climbing out of my car in the dark and going into an unlit house.
The date I had the day after meeting D was the one my intuition was telling me not to bother going on. It was right. He picked me up in his BMW and we went to a local Chinese restaurant. At the end of the meal he proceeded to stand up, fish a wad of bills out of his pocket, peel off a $100 and throw it on the table. I was wondering if I was supposed to be impressed by that, yet all I could think was “how pretentious.” I’ve dated a couple of really wealthy men, none of whom behaved in that manner. After the waiter returned with his change, he said “I wonder how much to leave for the tip? I never look at the bill.” I’m not sure if that too, was meant to impress me. If so, it didn’t. And last but not least, while walking back to the BMW he causally mentioned that it was one of “a few” cars he owns. I think he was expecting me to ask what the others were…..only I really didn’t care enough to ask. Don’t get me wrong, I was nice.....just really turned off by his whole demeanor. When he dropped me off in front of my building, we shook hands goodbye. And neither of us has emailed since.
Next week I have tentative plans to meet another new person. My intuition is saying, “Oh, yeah….you should go on this date.” He’s interesting, intelligent, does some writing and likes mine. So, who knows what will happen. I’ve made some of the best new friends I have in recent years doing Internet dating. Maybe there are no boyfriends in my future doing this. You never know though….one or more of them might have some cool friend to introduce me too…and you what, I don’t really need a boyfriend….I just want one.