I’ve never considered myself a big risk taker. With that said though, I guess my whole entire life at this moment, and for well over the past year has been one big gamble.
I’m big on getting self-help info. AOL sends me a newsletter on all kinds of motivational stuff. Today’s was about taking risks in order to find things you’re passionate about. For the first time in years, I feel passionate about my life, maybe too passionate, which I think is what causes me no small amount of stress on certain occasions. Unfortunately, I don’t feel the same passion in my work. I love what I do; it’s valuable and makes a difference in people’s lives. Sadly, working in the not-for-profit world does not bode well for being able to afford a place to live. I love the people and place that I work, but it’s not creative enough for me and it’s no longer in the sort of environment that I crave…..
Here are some of the things that I learned from the AOL article:
Passion is “what’s important to your soul.”
“You have to feel your way to finding your passion.” In other words, it’s not good to over think it. (Very hard for those of us who have made *over thinking* into a championship sport.)
“Focus on the things that you fantasize about doing.” (I’m pretty focused; I just wish I knew how I was going to do them. Where is that darn Crystal Ball when you need it??)
“At some point you want to stop dreaming about it, and give it a shot.” (OK….I can do that.)
“Take a step forward. Recognize that you only need to take a tiny step.” (This is hard for me….I want to take the steps in leaps and bounds…all the while, being scared to death.)
When I got to work today I found that someone had installed Microsoft Publisher on my computer. A few days ago, the Director of Program Operations asked me if I might like to take over the agency newsletter. My freelance writing for The Advance, the rebuttal letter I wrote to the Riverhead News Review, who wrote a story about group homes for the developmentally disabled and had a nasty quote in it from some nasty man about group homes (opps….this is becoming a rant), and my article for the agency newsletter about Service Coordination (take a breath), he thinks somehow qualify me to put together a newsletter. You all know how not good I am with technology and figuring out this kind of stuff, right? Along with this deal, I would also be able to let go of half my caseload too, which at his point is really kind of appealing to me. But, like anything else where I work, things take time, some times lots of time to actually happen. Sooo, imagine my surprise at finding Publisher in my computer this morning!
Even though I’ll be terrified about publishing the newsletter, I’m going to do it. Hopefully, the current newsletter person will be available to provide technical assistance. (At the moment, I don’t think I’m on his good side….I didn’t let him take my picture to go along with the newsletter article I recently wrote.) When campaign season is over in the Village of Patchogue, maybe I’ll go and apply for some part time, minimum wage job at the local library in order to see what it would be like to work in one, a library that is. That might be the first step on my way up all the others. The steps I’m dreaming about are located on 5th Ave in NYC and have two very large lions sitting at either side of them, or they might possibly be the steps up to the entrance of The Metropolitan Museum of Art, as a museum archivist….who knows? I’ll never know unless I take the first one……but right now, I’m going to take a nap. This is going to be a very long climb.